Applying for the Wallaby Coaching Job

OK OK stop texting and phoning me demanding action!!
Let me confirm I have sent my application to the ARU High Performance Unit for the job of Head Coach of the Wallabies!!
Let's see if I get a response this time... Pat Howard now heads up the Unit and I have co-coached with his Uncle Tom at Wanderers so we'll see... I have also sent my media release to Greg Growden at the Sydney Morning Herald as it was he who blew the whistle on the journalist spin that previously 'Knuckles' Conolly was indeed NOT the 'last man standing'!!

Here are some extracts:

VISION for AUSTRALIAN RUGBY
I would work to build a set up and a team at its pinnacle that:

Could catch, pass, run and kick when needed
Brought in younger players in a smooth transition
Offered redundancy to half the current squad post Cup
Organised a huge farewell send off for George Gregan
Work at continuing Matt Dunnings transformation including a haircut
Keep Mortlock as captain for 2 years
Shift Camp Wallaby to Newcastle
Work towards a 12 team National Comp for which all Wallabies would be available
Shift the Brumbies to Melbourne
Sign Gordon Bray to the Test Commentary for life
Scrap “Waltzing Matilda” for Midnight Oil’s “Only the Strong”
Have mufti day for training every Friday
Undertake Compulsory touch football drills
Includes Canterbury clothing up to 5XL
Reintroduce the players to Bill in 2011
Includes No Test Rugby in Melbourne or Perth
The Wallabies would play a genuine free spirited style which involved actually running
forwards, passing to beat the man and fines for every dropped ball
Now we’re over the Wendell Sailor experiment I’d ban League converts in future
Fitness would be paramount…
They say you always focus as a coach on the areas you lacked as a player!!
Loose forwards would train to link with backs not just be battering rams
Inside backs would run straight lines and make room for wider athletes
The Sevens would include top flight Wallabies
Players would be encouraged into Baa Baas & World XVs
Wallabies would wear club socks at training and occasionally in games
Mat Giteau would be asked to be more than a ‘potential star’
Old coaches/players banned from commenting on team & coaching performance
except over a schooner at the club after the match
Old fashioned ‘skolls’ would be returned

AND MY APPLICATION:
I am writing to you to apply for the position of ‘WALLABIES HEAD COACH’ which despite not seeing it advertised is clearly ‘up for grabs’ with all the recent media coverage in the wake of exit from the World Cup in France!!

Once again ‘friends’ have been pestering me to throw my hat in the ring following our early exit and reminded me of my efforts last time around when [as Greg Growden noted] John “Knuckles” Conolly was indeed NOT ‘Last Man Standing’. Not so much as a letter from the ARU advising me I was unsuccessful ? AND I had to phone and chase up the result only to be fobbed off!! I look forward to your correspondence on this occasion!!

At a glance reasons for considering my Application:

25 years experience as a Rugby Player under myriad coaching regimes
13 years experience as a Coach [Wanderers Rugby] in the Newcastle and Hunter Rugby Unions [A Club I know you’ll be familiar with]
All during the beginnings and development of the professional rugby era
Knowledge of the highs and lows including 12 premierships [6 as a Coach] and the career ending rupture of both kneecap tendons in a tackle in June 2003
Commitment to running rugby
Suffering through TV coverage and live attendance at Wallaby Tests in 2004-7
Excellence as a “man manager” with playing groups of mixed ability and potential
Demonstrated results in dealing with an arch enemy through match plans, tactics and Grand Final Results
The Wallabies skills of catch, pass, run and kick could not be collectively worse
No political baggage cf Muggleton, Nucifora or any overseas candidate

My RESUME will give more detailed background and evidence for your consideration BUT
I urge you to do some ‘outside the frame thinking going forward’. I would welcome the opportunity for an Interview to further push my claims. I look forward to your letter acknowledging receipt of my application and advice as to where I am placed and what are the likely next steps in this exciting process!!