Advent Photo #15 Motive

'Motive'
   As I write today I'm in a rare lucid moment on day two of antibiotics for the dreaded lurgy that is a throat infection [throat, chest, head, sleepy, seedy... generally unwell] where at least I got into my Dr who knows to just give me the medications as rest is never enough!! It's been a good year with this really my second bout instead of the normal 5-6 episodes. Feeling slowly better today at what is such a busy time of year...
   Well, I've been avoiding this photo so far... this is me in Aug/Sept 2008 after about 18 months of strict diet and weight loss of 32+ kgs... I hadn't quite reached my goal but fell off the wagon soon after... darn OS trip and the delights of fresh bread and NYC fried treats!! Such a focused, determined and effective time but built on an unrealistic diet that inevitably came unstuck and eludes me still today as I know how single minded I needed to be to get there...
   Anyhow, I think it's also really about motive... I have plenty of reasons but am struggling to turn them into a motive that works... I hope a health scare isn't the trigger but that might work... failing that my 4 x week swimming is making me fitter and leaner, if I could just conquer how much I enjoy the wrong foods and know they are a short term buzz... I feel I am slowly getting into a motivated space... in the meantime I'll keep swimming and search for that will power...