Celebration/Thanks Terry Butler 14th Jan 2020

Celebration and Thanksgiving for the life of Terry Butler
5/5.15pm – (6.45pm) + eats/drinks/outside after (out 7.30pm)
Janice Reid Pavilion University of Western Sydney (off Victoria Rd, Rydalmere)

Terry’s Playlist - Simon Hodges
5pm Lali Mourning Beat + 5.15pm Lali Gathering Beat - Siaki

Lighting Candle/s
God/Christ Candle (light in the darkness) WHITE –
Cassius & Zeus Button (Grandson)
Terry’s Spirit Candle BLUE –
Judyth Roberts + Carolyn Handley

Permission to be on Country –
Samuela Nabis Barrkha Sadrata (Sam)

AND Response
Thankyou (Sam) for your story shared (and the welcome it offers).
(The Ancient of Days breathed life into this land and Peoples and)
from time beyond our reckoning the Barramadigal people blessed
this place with their care and concern and we (as people of many
cultures and stories) join in paying respect to their Elders past,
present and being formed for the future.
May we be mindful of songlines and stories, as we join our voices
to those already here. May we walk gently and respectfully
on this land.

Welcome and Introduction
Welcome everyone, I’m Rob Hanks... xxx
We are here today to celebrate and give thanks
for the life of Terry Butler…
Words that are simple and clear yet seem inadequate…
People have come from Tasmania, Victoria, Canberra, Newcastle,
Queensland & South Australia, from bushfire regions & beyond…
Family and friends, from football, life and work, the coffee shop,
mainstream and complimentary medical treatment, care and
support, Uniting Church Leaders (President, Deidre Palmer on
behalf of the National Church) colleagues
& friends, velvet rabbits, llamas, online and faith communities and
so many touched by Terry’s spirit, faith, values,
hospitality and friendship…

Messages of love & support have come from
The International Godly Play Foundation, the World Methodist
Council, the World Council of Churches, the Hindu Council of
Australia, the Buddhist Students’ Association of Western Sydney,
the Aboriginal Advisory Council of Western Sydney,
the FB Group – Survivors of Clergy Abuse, and letters, emails
and flowers from friends in 7 different countries.

Today we are mindful of Terry’s immediate family:
Janai (and Chris); Emryn, grandsons Zeus and Cassius
and their mum, Vinodini and siblings Roby (and Peter),
Bob (and Jan)

Terry planned much of this gathering himself and wanted
to ensure children and storytellers, footballers and people
of all cultures and people identifying as LGBTIQ+ would
all be welcome and safe… My words today, lean on creative
others, including Dorothy McRae-McMahon.

There is no casket here
Having already had a Committal at home (sending off Terry’s
physical remains) and an “Ochre Ceremony” leading to
“Calling Home,” Terry’s ashes will be welcomed back onto the
Adnyamathanha country of the Ikara Flinders Ranges by the
First Peoples there…. (a moment of silence)

We come today knowing who we are & how we have lived,
matters & lives on... We come believing Terry’s life joins the
human story stretching into our past and our future and all Terry
means to you surrounds & sustains you…

Here we will… share stories, laughter and tears…
Here we will celebrate the wonder & wisdom held
in different faith expressions
(God’s love & grace are wider & grander
than we’ll ever know)
Here we will commend Terry’s spirit into God’s care…
There is both grief and joy…

Beginning Prayer
And so we pray, God of life, with many feelings,
as well as grief and sadness, Travel with us in this time,
open our hearts to each other, give love and understanding
for family & friends and all those feeling the loss of Terry…

Help us hear comfort in the stories we tell
& in the memories we share,
Enable us to celebrate, even as we grieve.
When we have missed the mark, forgive us
and help us forgive Terry,
things done or said, left or unspoken.
This is a time to lay aside regret
and to resist carrying that into the future…

We reflect on our lives and Terry’s,
the last time he prayed for or encouraged us, spoke,
shared a meal or coffee, a rant, swearing about sport
or leadership, laughter, a message of support, a hug,
accepted help, time given or spent, anything really…
This brief silence is yours xxx.

We gather in hope,
may we build community in spirit and in truth.(Amen)
OR may it be so…

Song Video “Bohemian Rhapsody” Queen (all invited to sing)



Sentences
Today I’m thinking about Jesus generosity (Matthew 5)
3“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted… 

Nadia Bolz Weber imagines,
blessed are those who can offer you nothing
Blessed are they who can’t fall apart because 
they have to keep it together for everyone else
These are not a goal, but where true
(a sign of community living out hope)
Hope, Midnight Oil tells us “only offers when justice is coming”
(Terry, challenge accepted and nailed, Nadia Bolz Webber & Midnight Oil, 
in one coherent phrase, totally relevant to the point)

I’m thinking about Blue, the colour of the sky & the sea,
depth & stability, trust, loyalty, wisdom, faith, truth,
good for mind & body, calming, optimism, kindness, solidarity
& the colour marking so many different things in common

Symbols of Terry’s life + Booklet 
Symbol of God – White Candle
(to be lit) REMINDER
Symbol of Terry’s spirit – Blue Candle
Symbol of Thanksgiving – Calligraphy
(long banner hanging in place) THANKS
Symbol of Confession - Radiation mask
(loaned by Julie McCrossin) BARRIERS
Symbol of Comfort – 3 Quilts
(Tony and Shirley Floyd, 2 x Vivianne Butchers)
+ Adding, Sand from Bar Beach, Newcastle
(Tony Floyd to share the story of their quilt)

Spoken Memories
Deb Clarke
Emryn Button
Janai Tabbernor
Amelia
Everyone spoke with heart & warm memories and raw feelings
Part of Amelia's Eulogy and the AV of Photos are here

Reading Micah 6: 6-8 David Hodges
8 He has told you, O mortal, what is good; 
and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, 
and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? GNB

Reading excerpt “The Velveteen Rabbit” Marg Robinson

Words/Thoughts notes
What does God expect of you? What is real?
(Two Qs I hadn't necessarily thought of together before)
To do justice, to love kindness and to walk humbly with God…
(8th C, BCE) Micah speaks prophetically, into a time of violence,
exploitation & oppression, into Israel’s broken relationship with God,
offering a way into reconciliation, summarising Scripture,
it resonated in Jesus teaching and life as…
“Love neighbour and love God” “
(who is my neighbour? "Work it out!!”)

Walter Bruggeman wrote ‘walking humbly’
is to pay attention to others
(the opposite of pride, self-righteousness
or dehumanising oppression) P Freire
Jesus call to love our neighbour and God is a verb, an action word,
doing justice as ‘the work of the people,” participating in God’s mission,
reconciling & renewing people, restoring them to community…
these marks in Terry’s life

“The thing about grief is…” sings Claire Bowditch
“It knows what I did and It knows what I did not say.
It sentenced me to a life of excavating things
my little head can not understand.
But I patched it all together with string and rubber bands”
Sounds a bit like becoming real, one lyric (no time 4 more)

But none of us knows the whole truth
about what happens beyond death,
We travel with an infinitely gracious God,
revealed in loving relationships.
God ‘one of us’ showing us what God is like…
Inviting us to question whether what we have valued in life
 has any eternal value. The God who stands with us in that moment
is the same God prepared to die in love for all humankind,
entering every struggle of our lives,
understanding the choices we have made…
Here we find an image of life, lasting values,
the story that goes on…
Inviting us to do justice, and to love kindness 
& to walk humbly with your God…

Photos AV Pics + “I’m Going Home” Tim Curry here

Pastoral Prayer
Take Home Gifts : Candle, Hanky, Holding Heart, Ice Collar
(Eyes open until you're comfortable you know what we are doing)
God of life,
We hold in our hands, resources for reflection/prayer/
remembering
A Candle, carry Terry’s light forward
In a moment of silence I invite your reflections, hopes, prayer
Can we write a story of hope for Terry’s family and friends xxx

Some days we might need to hold belief and joy and trust and light
Some days are hard,
may you know that you are loved and held in faith

We hold in our hands, a handkerchief,
a less wasteful offer of care & help
Can we write a story of blessing,
can we give thanks and pray
For medical and complimentary care,
for health workers and wellbeing,
For helpers and supporters, for blue folks, online presence,
those mentored and those receiving hospitality and care
in Terry’s own tireless way
God’s spirit, a solid story of life, inspiring thanks every day.

We hold in our hands, a timber holding heart,
giving, love, connection
Can we write a story of justice, sacrifice, inclusion,
of creativity and art
Can we pray for each other, determined,
courageous and real
(we prayed for two families
in their current moment of life & need)

Hold out those symbols in your own way,
take them home,
May the cool wind of the hovering spirit
soothe and replenish you. Amen

Fijian Congregation Singing "The Lords Prayer"
+ Action Song "Help Me Up" Justin Wellington
by the young people

Blessing for Terry/Commendation
Terry, all these things and more you have given to us,
We respect your journey through life with all its realities
You embraced life and squeezed everything out of it,
Giving it away to others at any opportunity.
Be embraced by love, be yourself as we let go of things and trust
You were and always will be son, dad, grandad, partner, brother,
friend + more
You lived a following of the way, undertaken with panache,
with flair & reckless courage…
(We commend your Spirit to God’s care) added, Amen

Song “Child of Mine”
Sung by Amelia, Mixed Blessings & friends
written by Leigh Newton, Tanya Wittwer and Amelia
for Terry on the cancer journey

Changing the Light – Judyth Roberts and Carolyn Handley

Everyone is invited to stay on, eat, share stories together, 
look at the photo displays, flick through some photo books 
and kick a football around (outside)
Anyone who would like to can take food outside. 
We have water on tap

Sending (please stand as you are able)
We have sung, laughed, mourned,
shared and reflected
Even as we grieve this loss,
Let’s commit ourselves
to comfort those who miss Terry most
Now let us go into the world, glad that we have loved
Free to grieve for our loss,
free to hold each other in human frailty
Empowered to live life to the full
and to affirm the hope of human existence
And may God be our company,
Christ walk before us
And the spirit, surround us with grace.
Amen

Recessional Song (invitation to whistle)
“Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” Monty Python



Some people also asked about

"The Thing About Grief Is" Claire Bowditch



Lyrics here

I hope it's Ok to share the details and gives others a glimpse of how we fleshed out Terry's hopes and plans. Thanks particularly to Darren and Aimee for brilliant assistance with the Tech/Sound/Vision/Logistics. Thanks to all contributors and those offering affirmation and afterwards sharing what they appreciated/needed/found. All working well at the beginning we lost Mics and some Volume later that was beyond our capacity to resolve on the spot